Eli Arthur2 months agoI (29) and my spouse (31) have been together for 8 years and married for almost 3. We met in college, and it was a great time for both of us. I was pursuing my PhD while she taught in a nearby town. She achieved her dream job of teaching at a school she attended as a child, and we were happy in the city. I proposed a year before finishing my degree, and we decided to move for my career when I received a great offer in Texas. The job had an impressive salary and benefits, and they even offered her a job at a top charter school. The only catch was that the town was rural, with limited amenities and cultural differences, and we'd be leaving behind family and friends. After a family discussion, we agreed that I would go first for a year to assess if the benefits of the job outweighed the cons. I loved the job, but the town was tough. I was fine with it, but my wife struggled with the transition. She wasn’t thrilled about the move and was homesick, though she agreed to stay. After a difficult first year, I suggested therapy, and she pursued it. Things didn't improve, and she became more closed off and distant. I felt hurt, isolated, and emotionally shut out, and at one point, she even asked me to sleep in the guest room. After a while, my wife decided to leave for Ohio to return to her previous teaching job. She took the dogs with her, and I was left feeling alone and uncomfortable in a small town. I also felt hurt seeing her reconnect with friends in the city. We agreed to divorce after I told her I couldn’t financially support both her and the new commitments in Texas. After a couple of months, however, things stalled. She wanted me to move back, but I couldn’t due to limited opportunities. She also didn’t want to return to Texas, and we both accepted that we had reached an impasse. During the divorce, I got a dog for company, a decision I now regret because she wants me to get rid of it, which has caused tension. I’m feeling conflicted because I don’t want to live by her demands anymore, especially after she left me once before. I’m struggling with whether to move on from my best friend and risk being hurt again or whether I should try to make it work. I love her, but I don’t feel like I’m being treated right. I’ve given her everything I could—trips, gifts, a new home—but I can’t give any more. I don’t know if I should let go, especially since I hate seeing her struggle on her own. But I can’t seem to find a middle ground. The situation is complex, and I’m full of doubt about our future. Summary: My marriage was disrupted when my wife left, and now she wants to return on her own terms. Should I move on or try to reconcile?1739
Eli ArthurEli Arthur