Billy Kennard2 months agoI’m 19 years old and this is my first relationship. My girlfriend, who is also 19, and I have been together for two years now. We both made a promise to wait until marriage for everything, including intimacy, due to our religious beliefs. Our relationship is mostly private, and our families would not accept it unless we’re ready for marriage, which is still many years away. We’ve agreed to wait a minimum of 5-6 years if we continue together. There are some things I’m struggling with in our relationship. For example, her desire for intimacy seems to fluctuate. A few months ago, we shared a passionate moment and she expressed wanting to do it again, but when she came back from a vacation, she was much more distant—her texts became drier, and she didn’t mention anything about what happened before. I’m used to this kind of unpredictable behavior from her, where her interest or affection can vary from time to time. What hurts the most is that our relationship has had some bumps. I’ve been “friend-zoned” by her twice, and one of those times lasted nearly ten months. After that, we started talking again, and she told me she loved me but was afraid of losing feelings for me again, though she couldn’t explain why that happens. I decided to give it another chance when she assured me that she loved me, but now, 7 months into this reunion, I’m starting to notice the same pattern. She’s becoming more distant, less affectionate, and less interested in our relationship compared to how much I care for her. She seems very independent and rarely needs reassurance from me, while I find myself feeling insecure at times. I’ve always desired a relationship where both partners are madly in love with each other, but it feels like my love for her is stronger than hers for me. It hurts because, during the times when we were just friends, she described having strong feelings for other guys, even feeling butterflies just from looking at them. She’s told me that she never feels that way with me, and it stings. Despite that, she said she came back to me because she couldn’t find another guy with the same qualities as me. I’m trying to understand whether this is a normal phase in a young relationship or if these signs suggest that our relationship might not work out. Should I continue putting effort into this, or is it just not meant to be?11.5K
Billy KennardBilly Kennard