Shaelyn Jamison2 months agoI’m 28, and my husband is 44. He has two kids from his previous marriage, a 14-year-old boy and a 10-year-old girl. I don’t have a relationship with their mother, and that’s not for lack of trying early on in my relationship with my husband. A lot of people around us are divorced and have negative views about marriage. Neither my husband nor I had the best influences when it comes to relationships. Yesterday, we had a heated argument that caused me to leave the house for the day to clear my head. My husband and I typically try to keep our disagreements private, waiting until we’re alone. But this time felt different. My husband struggles with alcohol, which I’ve always known. I’ve made it clear that the kids shouldn’t be caught in the middle of that. To provide some background: when I first came into the picture, I didn’t have a chance with his kids, and in my own words, they disliked me for years. Fast forward to today, and we’ve built a strong relationship. We finally feel like a family and spend time with them on the 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends of the month. I’ve changed a lot since meeting my husband. While I used to enjoy partying, I now focus on my career, our future plans to buy a home, and nurturing my relationship with the kids. But I feel like my husband and I aren’t on the same page anymore. Our disagreement yesterday involved our oldest being in the same room while the youngest was in her room. He told me that I shouldn’t be telling him what to do when I suggested we spend more time with the kids, given our limited time with them. He called me a “b****” for suggesting that I should accept the fact that he came home from hanging out with friends at 4 a.m. He also said that no one invites me to events anymore, despite us being invited as a couple multiple times. And, finally, he admitted he was miserable with the kids being on the other side of a closed door. Hearing him say that he was miserable broke my heart. His words echoed in my mind all day. It felt different this time, almost like he was crying out for help. Over the years, we’ve been through tough times, and I’ve never been truly miserable like he is now. In that moment, I handed him my ring. I couldn’t stand staying another day in our home, so I slept on the couch. I told myself I needed time to think. The idea of splitting up terrifies me. We’ve been together for six years, and we’ve been married for three, with our anniversary coming up in March. Our friends love him, and I don’t want to go to my girlfriends for advice that could change how they see him. So, I’m reaching out here, not sure what kind of advice I’m looking for, but hoping for something that can help me process all of this.148
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Shaelyn JamisonShaelyn Jamison