Jessalyn Sabrina2 months agoI (36F) have been dating my boyfriend (44M) for two years, and we live together. Overall, our relationship is great, and we’re happy. However, there’s a recurring issue that’s been causing me anxiety. A few months ago, we went through a rough patch. During that time, I noticed a pattern where, if we had an argument or he got upset, he would cancel plans we had made. The first time it happened, I was really hurt, but instead of addressing it, I just tried to avoid the issue. For instance, we had planned a special weekend together, and at the last minute, he told me he didn’t want to spend time with me and left early for a work trip. After that, I noticed this became a pattern. When he got upset or we argued, he’d back out of plans. Once, we had a weekend retreat booked, and a few days before, he told me he didn’t want to go anymore unless I wanted to go by myself. Instead, he chose to go visit his family. Each time, I just kept a positive front, not wanting to make the situation worse. Although we’ve since worked through our issues and things are much better now, I find myself feeling anxious about making plans with him. For example, we have another trip planned, and I can’t help but mentally prepare myself for it to be cancelled, even though there’s no current reason to believe that will happen. The uncertainty makes me hesitant to make any future plans because I fear I’ll be let down again. I know it’s irrational, but I just prefer to avoid making special plans to prevent that disappointment.142
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Jessalyn SabrinaJessalyn Sabrina