Bistra Evgenija2 months agoI'm 36, and my fiancée is 39. We've been together for two years, and we’re planning our wedding later this year. Honestly, I’ve been dreading the whole process. I’m an introvert, and while I can socialize when necessary, I deeply value my alone time and prefer not to be the center of attention. If it were up to me, I would’ve chosen to elope somewhere beautiful with just the two of us, no guests, no fuss. But my fiancée is more extroverted. She loves the idea of celebrating with our families and friends, and I know she’d be devastated if we didn’t have a big celebration. Realistically, both of our families would be disappointed too, so we’re moving forward with a more traditional wedding. The issue is, I absolutely hate everything about wedding planning. I find it all overwhelming and, honestly, a little ridiculous. The costs are astronomical, and I really don’t see the value in a lot of the traditions. For example, why do people need to watch us cut the cake? It all feels so unnecessary. I don’t care about the flowers. I don’t care about seating arrangements. I don’t care about the invitations, which will just end up in the trash. And as for the décor, I honestly don’t think anyone will remember it afterward, so I don’t find any joy in obsessing over it. Some of this might be rooted in anxiety about the actual day itself. I’m not worried about the marriage—I'm completely confident in my partner and our future together—but the whole spectacle of the wedding is making me anxious. I’ve felt this way about every wedding I’ve been involved in, whether as a bridesmaid or as a sibling, so I really don’t think I’ll suddenly feel different or happy about the wedding when it’s all over. That said, I want to be present for my fiancée. I want to show up for her and make this day special for both of us, but right now, every time we talk about the wedding, I feel stressed, irritated, or just completely drained. I don’t think my feelings have come up much in our conversations, but she knows that I’m not the biggest fan of wedding planning. I’m not expecting the process to magically become fun for me, but how do I change my mindset and show up in a way that’s supportive and positive for her?154
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