Leigh Cassy2 months agoMy boyfriend (27M) has struggled with intense jealousy in the past, and I’m beginning to wonder if it’s becoming too much. I respect his boundaries, and I know he’s a more traditional person in relationships, but his jealousy is starting to affect me. I’ve always been a people person, and I enjoy connecting with friends, but recently I’ve noticed my boyfriend becoming uncomfortable with me maintaining relationships—especially with male friends. We've been dating for two years and living together for one. I’ve cut off all of my male friends since we started dating because it makes him uncomfortable, and I’ve tried to set up group hangouts with his friends, but he always seems disinterested. We occasionally stay in touch with our friends through texts and calls, which we both agreed on. Recently, a situation happened that’s been bothering me. My mom is going through a divorce and moving out of state. She wanted to keep the lease on her house, and one of my male friends, Greg (22M), needed somewhere to stay. I invited him to move in, and I went over to help him move in his things when my boyfriend was at work. I did invite him to come with me, but he couldn’t. When I got home, my boyfriend was really upset. He didn’t like that I stayed too long, and we had a conversation about it. Later, when I was helping my mom move some of her belongings, I forgot to check in with him, and he was clearly upset when I called him to apologize. When I got home, I noticed his car was gone, and he wasn’t answering my calls. I started to worry, and after some time, he called me back saying he just went for a bike ride. He came home, and we ended up having a heated argument. While I told him I was fine with him taking time for himself, I was frustrated that he didn’t let me know where he was. He eventually told me that he was upset that I was at my mom’s house helping Greg. We had a long conversation, and he kept saying things like, “maybe we should break up.” Then he started crying, saying he wasn’t worth it and that I deserved better, but it felt forced. I don’t want to seem insensitive to his emotions, but I’m struggling to figure out if his jealousy is something I should tolerate or if it’s becoming too controlling. TL;DR: I helped an old male friend of mine with a living situation, and my boyfriend is upset about it. His jealousy seems overwhelming, and I’m unsure if I’m being inconsiderate or if he’s being too jealous. I just need clarity.133
Leigh CassyLeigh Cassy