Sable Rosalin2 months agoI (20F) have been dating my boyfriend (22M) for about 8 months, but we were only officially together for about 3 months before he was deployed. We both agreed from the beginning that we were marriage-minded, but as time has passed, I’ve started to feel nervous about how quickly everything is moving and the challenges of long-distance relationships. We got together quite fast, and while I was initially hesitant, I really like him, so I went ahead with it. He has been thoughtful and caring—he got me an amazing birthday gift and always goes out of his way to see me. He is everything I want in a partner. However, I’m realizing that I’ve never been the long-distance type, and this deployment has made me rethink how I feel about that. We talk every day, but it hit me that his deployments will likely be a regular thing, and I’m not sure I can handle it long-term. What’s also speeding things up is the idea of marriage. He suggested a courthouse wedding and an official ceremony later on, mainly because he may need to move and wants me to be with him, especially to leave the barracks. I wasn’t comfortable with that idea, so he agreed to a longer engagement. We haven’t gotten engaged yet, but we’ve already talked about the future and our plans. While I understand that a longer engagement might give me time to adjust, I’m still not sure if I can handle a life of regular long-distance relationships. I love him deeply, and he’s been incredibly supportive, but I’m starting to feel overwhelmed. I don’t want to hurt him or lose him because he’s an amazing man, but I’m also realizing that this lifestyle might not be compatible with me in the long run. I’m feeling excited for when he comes home but also anxious about these concerns that have popped up. I’m afraid that as time goes on, the emotional toll of long-distance will get harder, especially with multiple deployments. I don’t want to break his heart, but I also don’t want to put myself in a situation where I’m constantly feeling lonely. I love him, but I’m unsure how this lifestyle will work for me, especially since I’ve never experienced it before.138
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