Baxter Evie2 months agoMy girlfriend (28F) broke up with me (33F) after a few intense disagreements. We didn’t say anything mean to each other, but it was the first time we’d had such an argument, and I didn’t realize how she handles conflict. She tends to shut down and need space, but I didn’t give her that space. Instead, I pursued her and made it about my own feelings. I made her feel bad for needing space and said a few hurtful things. I wasn’t in a great mental space either, but I know that doesn’t justify my actions. I apologized, but it wasn’t a very thorough apology, and I didn’t specifically acknowledge my behavior. A day later, she ended things. After some time to reflect, I reached out and took full responsibility for my actions. I didn’t make excuses and acknowledged where I went wrong. I realized how I mishandled the situation and how unnecessary my reaction was. She seemed to appreciate the honesty and agreed with what I said. I told her that her need for space is perfectly fine with me and that I had no excuse for acting the way I did. I also mentioned that I’m seeking therapy to work on my issues with chasing, needing reassurance, and not making things about me during conflict. She explained that the breakup stemmed from concerns about our communication differences, but I also understood that my behavior played a large role. She told me that everything had been fine up until then. I genuinely believed the same thing. After our discussions, she started asking questions about why I acted the way I did in those fights. I shared with her that I haven’t felt such a strong connection with anyone in years. She seemed interested in understanding my perspective. I suggested that we continue discussing things in the coming days, and she agreed. Last night, she texted me about an Airbnb we had planned for two weeks from now, asking if I had canceled. I told her I had canceled after the breakup and returned her money. She responded with a simple “ok.” Later, she called me while drunk, casually chatting like everything was fine. She then mentioned that she didn’t want to wait a few days and wanted to have our "talk" right then. Do you think she’s regretting her decision? Is she beginning to understand that we might be compatible, and that I’ve recognized my faults? I’m not changing for her, but I am trying to improve as a partner, especially during conflict. Have you ever been able to repair things after a major argument?134
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