Jacinda Caryla month agoMy boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We became best friends quickly, but I later discovered he had an arranged girlfriend back home whom he was supposed to marry. I had no idea about her until I overheard a conversation where he was asking a mutual friend for advice on how to break up with her. This revelation was painful, especially since I had developed feelings for him. Still, understanding the messy situation, I decided to distance myself. I felt guilty because I shouldn’t have gotten involved in this dynamic, but I couldn’t help being there for him. He confided in me about his struggles with his girlfriend, including their religious differences and how his family was pressuring him to marry. Over time, he told me they broke up, and he eventually confessed that he loved me and wanted to be with me. However, complications arose when his family, his ex, and her family tried to convince him to stay in the relationship, especially as her father was terminally ill. This caused a lot of stress, and we had to stop talking for a while. Despite the pressure, he promised me that he would fight for us. Eventually, he returned, and after a lot of emotional turmoil, he confirmed that he had ended things with her and wanted to pursue a relationship with me. We started dating, and our relationship has been wonderful ever since—full of love and mutual support. However, six months into our relationship, he broke down, expressing guilt for how things ended with his ex. He felt that he had hurt her by ending their relationship and was overwhelmed with remorse, especially since she was going through so much emotionally. This led him to contemplate breaking up with me because he thought confessing his guilt meant the end of our relationship. I reassured him that emotions are normal, and we don’t have to end things over guilt. He promised he would seek therapy, but never followed through. Although he has talked to friends and family and felt better, I worry that the unresolved guilt might resurface and cause him to leave me one day. Recently, before we became long distance after graduation, I voiced my concerns about the potential strain on our relationship, especially given his previous negative experience with long-distance relationships. He broke down in tears, and I’m left wondering if his distress was because of his unresolved guilt over his ex. This uncertainty has made me anxious, and I fear that his guilt might one day lead him to leave. Despite reassurances from him, I struggle to feel secure. Most of the time, I’m okay, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed by sadness and worry. He is truly my best friend, and I love him deeply. I just can’t seem to fully move on from this fear.136
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Jacinda CarylJacinda Caryl