Romilly Tanzia month agoMy husband and I have been married for a year and share a child. However, we dated and lived together for five years prior. Looking back, there were many red flags that he was a "mama's boy" and his mother was overbearing, but I was young and overlooked them. For instance, when we were looking for an apartment to rent, his mom was deeply involved—she drove us around, did all the research, and later insisted on buying us an apartment when we couldn’t rent anymore. She even chose the furnishings and decor, which caused arguments between her and my husband. When we moved in together, my husband started having dinner at his parents' house almost every night. The apartment she bought was right next to hers, clearly so she could keep him close. Over time, she began buying clothes for me and pestering my husband about why I wasn’t wearing them. Things escalated when my husband started a business. Despite me working full-time to fund it, his mom inserted herself into every decision, from choosing the location to helping with interiors. When I pointed out that I was the one contributing financially, she dismissed it, saying, “We didn’t ask you to spend your money.” When I got pregnant, she wanted us to have a wedding. I declined, saying we couldn’t afford it, but she insisted on paying. I still refused, which led to her calling me ungrateful. Now, I’m on maternity leave, and she’s taken a more active role in the business, essentially replacing me. My husband consults her and his dad on all major decisions, and I feel excluded. While my husband acknowledges that his parents can be overbearing, he doesn’t recognize how his dependency on them contributes to the issue. He always rationalizes his behavior, and I end up feeling like I have to go along with it. Am I being ungrateful here? Should I shift my perspective? My husband is otherwise loving, caring, hardworking, and intelligent, but this dependency on his parents is affecting our relationship.239
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