Kaydence Marmadukea month agoI’m honestly no better at keeping up. I grew up with a mom who was a neat freak and very image-conscious, which made me hate chores as a kid (even though, in hindsight, they weren’t excessive). I try hard to do better now and have even invested in organizational systems to make things easier.Here’s the issue: I refuse to do more than he’s willing to do. If he doesn’t clean the kitchen after dinner, I’m not going to keep being the one to pick up the slack. We rotate cleanup, but his version leaves behind anything that needs hand-washing, dirty countertops, floors, and a messy stovetop. Then, for the rest of the day, he acts smug and sighs at me like he’s done the lion’s share.He gets home 1–2 hours before me, but we still eat too much takeout because he prefers to watch Jeopardy instead of cooking. Our weekends are spent catching up on all the things we didn’t do during the week, and the only time he shows real motivation is in the frantic hours before someone comes over to visit.We both work full-time, and while burnout is real, our jobs aren’t more demanding than the average household’s. We’re recently empty nesters now (I was a young single mom when we met and couldn’t keep up with chores back then, either).I’ve repeatedly suggested that we spend 30 minutes to an hour every day tackling something, but he only agrees to shut me up and has no intention of following through. He’s a sensitive and kind person, though not particularly energetic. Meanwhile, I feel embarrassed and sad about our messy lifestyle, probably because of the shame my mom ingrained in me growing up.How can I break this cycle? Should I just give up and do it all myself?244
Kaydence MarmadukeKaydence Marmaduke