Alora Shavon2 months agoMy partner (30M) and I (32F) have been together for 7.5 years, and married for 2. Like most long-term relationships, we’ve had our fair share of struggles. When I encounter an issue, I typically bring it up, explain how it makes me feel, and offer suggestions for how we can address it. I also make sure to ask for his perspective and if he has any suggestions for how we could resolve the issue. However, like many couples, we have a couple of recurring problems that keep causing tension in our relationship. Unfortunately, neither of us has been handling these well, and they’ve started to threaten our connection.Whenever I feel unsure of how to fix things, I tend to research the issue—whether through reading articles, listening to podcasts, or learning from others' experiences. I enjoy finding solutions by deep diving into psychology or self-help materials. However, my partner strongly dislikes this. He feels like I should not need to do research and should just be able to figure out a solution on my own. When I suggested that researching is similar to him talking to his friends for advice, he responded by saying that I’d rather listen to anyone else than try to figure things out with him.I’ve tried offering solutions to our ongoing issues in the past, but I often don’t see follow-through from him, which is why I feel compelled to seek out new approaches to break the cycle. I recognize that I might be missing something in my approach, but I’m wondering if the problem lies with me or if it stems from a lack of emotional maturity or willingness to listen and compromise on his part.TL;DR: My partner doesn’t like that I often turn to psychology articles or counseling resources to find new ways to handle our relationship issues, especially after we’ve already discussed them and come up with no solution. Am I the one in the wrong for this, or is the issue rooted in his lack of emotional maturity and unwillingness to compromise?142
Alora ShavonAlora Shavon