Chalice Kalystaa month agoMy husband (43M) and I (39F) have been married for 18 years and together for 22 years. Over the course of our marriage, he has been through rehab and detox three times due to alcoholism. He struggled with heavy drinking on and off for about 10 years. Three years ago, I started going to therapy, and it was during that time that I was informed that he exhibits narcissistic tendencies, though he remains undiagnosed. In therapy, I learned the importance of expressing my needs instead of suppressing them. However, since doing so, things have started to unravel. As you might expect, his reaction to this has been typical of someone with narcissistic traits. My most recent request was that we spend more quality time together, as we rarely sit down together anymore. His response was to avoid me, and eventually, he exploded, saying he was done trying to make me happy, before leaving our home. We informed our 8-year-old that we are separating, and he moved in with his mom, who lives 10 minutes away. Right now, things are looking uncertain. He tells me he loves me deeply, wants our marriage to work, and agreed to marriage counseling. However, he refuses to consider individual therapy, which I believe is crucial. I’m wondering if there are any success stories out there where someone with narcissistic traits genuinely worked to change their behavior or at least made a noticeable effort. I’ve been reading that they rarely change, but I’d like to hear from anyone who may have seen positive results. I have two young children, and I’ve built a beautiful life with this man. While I’m open to the idea of divorce if it comes to that, I’m unsure whether hope for change is entirely unrealistic. 143
Chalice KalystaChalice Kalysta