Nanette Lelanda month agoI (28F) and my partner (35M) have two school-age daughters and have been together for over 10 years. Recently, I found out that he went through my phone. I discovered this when I was looking through his photos for a picture of our dog and accidentally saw photos of my conversations. Since I’m from another country, I speak my first language with family and friends, and he took pictures of these conversations and translated them using Google. I didn’t have anything to hide, so it didn’t initially worry me, but I was upset because he never asked for my permission, and many of these conversations were private, with family and friends sharing very personal things. Feeling upset, I decided to go through his phone to see if he had been doing anything similar, and what I found was shocking. He’s been saying terrible things about me to everyone. He’s talked badly about me to his family, including my mother-in-law and his cousins. For example, he told them I wasn’t helpful during house renovations—this was during lockdown, with a 2-year-old and 6-month-old who was exclusively breastfeeding at the time. I also found that he had sent a picture I had asked him to take of me while we were out on a trip. I had asked him to take a photo of me capturing the mountains and hills, and even though I didn’t feel like getting out of the car, he encouraged me to do so. I love photography, and I’m pretty good at it. I posted the picture on social media, but he sent it to his cousin, along with negative comments about me. He made it seem like I had asked him to stop and take the photo of me, which wasn’t true at all. What upset me even more was discovering that he kept naked photos of a woman he used to work with. She had been sending nudes to everyone at his work, including him. The pictures were from years ago, with some dating back four years, and he had videos too. He claimed he had forgotten about them but still kept them in an email account I didn’t know existed. I believe this woman might have sent them herself, as she’s known locally for doing so. He keeps apologizing and claiming it was all just “banter,” but I don’t believe him. I’ve told him to move out because I don’t think I can trust him anymore.144
Nanette LelandNanette Leland