Esther Jaslenea month agoMy husband and I have been married for 11 years, and he’s always been very different from my family. He’s outgoing, outspoken, and comes from a blue-collar background. When we got married, he was struggling financially, and my family didn’t think he’d ever be able to provide for me. My dad even tried to stop our engagement, as there was a lot of judgment about his financial situation. To give some context, my husband had a rough childhood, was bullied severely in school, and struggled with substance abuse. However, he turned his life around and now helps counsel youth facing similar challenges. Despite the rocky start, he has become my rock, my counselor, my comforter, and my inspiration. We’ve made it through a lot, and although money can sometimes be a stressor, he has been able to provide for us in the end. The issue I’m dealing with now is that over time, my husband’s outspoken personality has evolved into one that is often angry or annoyed, especially around family. He’s become harsh with my family and his own, expressing his opinions too strongly. He’s never like this with me, but when we’re around others, I’m instantly aware of how he talks. It saddens me to see him hurting people with his words. The worst part is how quickly this change happened—it feels like I’ve lost the version of him that I used to know. While he has apologized to my mom for some things he said, it doesn’t take away the pain of the rift it’s caused. He used to struggle with road rage, but after I shared how it made me feel, he worked on it and improved by 90%. I’m hoping we can make the same kind of progress when it comes to his interactions with family, but I’m terrified that it won’t work. His father went through counseling for anger issues, and it helped, so I’m hopeful, but also fearful. I just want this situation to improve, but now my family dislikes him, and I’m afraid no matter what he does, it will never be enough to change their opinion. Perhaps he’s reacting to perceived disrespect from our families or feels the need to assert himself more strongly as a Gen X person talking to Baby Boomers. I’m really struggling with this, and I’d welcome any advice you have. Has anyone else experienced this kind of shift in a partner’s personality? Did anger management help?140
Esther JasleneEsther Jaslene