Delphia Bridgera month agoI’m 23, and I’ve been with my boyfriend (24) for over a year. I’ve always known the accounts he follows on Instagram, but lately, I’ve found myself obsessively checking out their pages for some reason. It’s been happening for the past few weeks, and now it’s come up in conversation multiple times. He’s started saying I’m just jealous of them, but it’s not that. I’ve been comparing myself to them so much that it’s even showing up in my dreams. He’s always told me he doesn’t have a specific type, but all these girls he follows are tatted, curvy, with piercings, and have that "emo" vibe. Every single one of them. How can I stop letting this eat away at me? How am I supposed to be confident and love myself when I see that he follows them and actively likes their posts? Answer/Advice: I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s tough to deal with feelings of insecurity, especially when you see your partner engaging with people that trigger those feelings. The fact that you’ve noticed a pattern in the types of girls your boyfriend follows is valid, and it's understandable that it makes you question your own worth. Here are some steps you can take to regain confidence and handle the situation better: Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel insecure or jealous at times. These emotions don’t make you "weak" or "bad." It’s just part of being human. The key is recognizing when these feelings arise and addressing them instead of letting them fester. Talk to Him About Your Feelings: Instead of letting this eat at you, have an open and honest conversation with him. Let him know how seeing these accounts affects your self-esteem. Try to express your feelings without making accusations, focusing on how it makes you feel rather than blaming him for his actions. Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you find yourself comparing yourself to those girls, try to catch it early. Remind yourself of what makes you unique and what your partner loves about you. Your self-worth shouldn’t be tied to others’ appearances, and your relationship is built on much more than just looks. Focus on Your Own Self-Confidence: Start nurturing your self-love and confidence from within. It’s important to focus on your own well-being, hobbies, and things that make you feel good about yourself. Engaging in self-care and setting small goals for yourself can help shift your focus away from comparison. Trust and Boundaries: Trust is crucial in any relationship, and if you feel that his actions (like following and liking these accounts) are crossing a boundary or making you uncomfortable, you have every right to express that. Relationships are about compromise, so discussing what feels right for both of you could help ease your mind. Recognize What You Bring to the Relationship: Remember that your boyfriend chose you for a reason. His attraction to you is based on who you are, not just physical traits. What makes your bond special is the connection you share, and that is far more important than external appearances. Lastly, remember that self-confidence is a journey. Be kind to yourself and take one step at a time in building a healthier mindset. Keep working on embracing your own beauty and uniqueness, and the rest will follow.232
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Delphia BridgerDelphia Bridger