Kieran Mannya month agoMy husband, who is autistic (diagnosed), often struggles with social cues. He works a corporate job that requires frequent travel, and we have three young children, ages 5, 3, and 1. Last night, he told me about a conversation he had with a coworker (someone without kids). She commented on how she didn’t know how I manage being a stay-at-home mom, especially with him being away so much, and how she could never do it herself. During their conversation, my husband mentioned that I hurt my back recently while lifting the baby, which has led to terrible sciatic nerve pain for months. In response, this coworker said something along the lines of my body being ‘mangled, morphed, and destroyed’ from having three kids. While I’m sure she didn’t mean it the way it came across—since they were discussing my back pain—I can’t help but feel a little offended. I’ve dedicated the last 5.5 years of my life to raising our children, and her words felt dismissive, even if unintentionally so. This also feeds into a feeling I’ve had before: that some of his female coworkers are overly flirty with him. My husband is brilliant, well-liked, and respected at his company, so this doesn’t entirely surprise me. When I expressed my feelings, my husband reassured me that she didn’t mean it offensively. However, I don’t think discussing my body post-children is an appropriate work topic, no matter the context. I feel like he should have shut down the conversation, but I also recognize that his autism might make navigating social boundaries like this more difficult131
Kieran MannyKieran Manny