Christine Washingtona month agoI (17F) have been with my boyfriend (18M) since middle school, but he had to move back to Canada. We’ve been staying in touch through Discord, but lately, he’s been really distant, sometimes replying five days later or just ignoring me altogether. I went to message him today, and I noticed he has a relationship profile with someone else’s initials (mine starts with a C, and the initials were A). I feel hurt and confused, and I don’t know what to do or say. Advice: I’m really sorry you’re going through this, it sounds like a painful and confusing situation. Here are a few things to consider before deciding how to approach it: Address the Distance: It sounds like the communication has significantly changed, with him being distant and not replying in a way that’s consistent with how things used to be. Rather than letting your emotions fester, it might be helpful to reach out to him directly about how you’re feeling. You could ask if everything is okay and express that you’ve noticed his lack of communication. Keep it calm and open so he doesn’t feel defensive, but make sure he understands how his behavior is affecting you. Discuss the Profile: The relationship profile with someone else’s initials is definitely concerning, and it’s understandable that you’d feel hurt. If you do decide to talk to him about the distance, this is something you’ll need to bring up as well. Approach the conversation with a mindset of clarity: ask him about the profile and the initials and how it fits with the status of your relationship. Don’t jump to conclusions, but express that you’re feeling hurt and confused by what you found. Communicate Your Needs: It’s important to be clear about what you need in a relationship, especially one where you’re not physically together. Healthy relationships, even long-distance ones, need clear communication and trust. Let him know how much communication matters to you, and ask for the same level of effort and respect in return. Pay Attention to the Signs: If he continues to be distant, or if his answers feel evasive or dismissive, it’s worth considering whether he is still as invested in the relationship as you are. It can be really tough to come to terms with, but it’s important for both partners to be on the same page, and sometimes distance can cause people to drift apart. Give Yourself Space to Reflect: While you figure things out with him, take some time to reflect on your feelings and what you want in a relationship. If his behavior continues to hurt you, you might need to think about what’s best for your emotional well-being. It might be helpful to talk to a trusted friend or family member for support, too. Remember, you deserve someone who communicates openly with you and treats you with respect. Take things one step at a time, and prioritize your own happiness and peace of mind. 28
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Christine WashingtonChristine Washington