Ailean Kennya month ago'm a 28-year-old woman deeply in love with my fiancé, who is 30. We've been together for 6.5 years, and we're currently planning our wedding for next summer. We met during university in the UK, where I moved to study. Although I'm not originally from the UK, I decided to stay after university because of my relationship and my fondness for the country. Recently, we relocated to a new city in the UK due to my fiancé's job. He works in a field that often requires him to move around the country, especially early in his career. Unfortunately, I don't like this new city or the region at all. I feel isolated here, as I have no friends and the lack of public transport limits my ability to engage in hobbies or explore. The distance from our previous city makes it hard to visit friends, and I've been struggling with feelings of homesickness for my home country in Northern Europe. I've been feeling increasingly down, and despite my efforts to exercise and stay positive, the sadness lingers. I often reflect on the advantages of my home country—better employment rights, affordable housing, higher wages, cleaner cities, and a superior education system. I worry about my future children not having a close relationship with my family back home, which adds to my distress. The dilemma is that moving back to my home country would be challenging for my fiancé. He has invested a lot in his career here, and transitioning to a new country would require him to take numerous exams and learn a new language, which could take years. He's content in the UK and has never expressed a desire to live elsewhere. I've been crying several times a week for months, feeling torn between my love for my fiancé and my longing for my home country. I love him deeply; he is my best friend and my support system. However, the thought of spending my life in the UK, away from my culture and family, fills me with sadness. As I think about raising children, I find it hard to reconcile the idea of them growing up in an environment that I don't feel is ideal. I've shared my feelings of homesickness with my fiancé, but he believes that my sadness is temporary and that I'll feel better once I overcome my depression. I want to believe that, but I'm terrified of committing to a life in the UK, getting married, and starting a family, only to realize later that I still feel out of place. Now, I'm faced with a difficult decision: should I go ahead with the wedding and hope that my feelings will change, or should I postpone it, risking a painful breakup? The thought of ending a 6.5-year relationship is devastating, and I feel lost in this situation.141
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Ailean KennyAilean Kenny