Ainslie Laynea month agoI’m 31, and my boyfriend is 39. We’ve been together for almost a year now, and we’re working through some issues, particularly because we both have avoidant tendencies and tend to self-sabotage or pull away when we feel overwhelmed. In the beginning, he gave me lots of compliments, but now I can’t remember the last time he told me I’m beautiful. I’ve tried dropping hints to encourage him to say it, but he ignores them. When I flat-out asked him, he got defensive and asked, “Well, don’t I make you feel beautiful?” Honestly, I don’t feel that way. My love language is words of affirmation, so I appreciate reassurance. He also has some jealousy and insecurity issues and gets irritated if he thinks I’m getting too much attention from other men, even commenting on what I wear, saying it’s too revealing. There are other things he does that raise red flags, like putting me down, gaslighting, etc. But I’m mainly wondering: what could make a guy not want to compliment his girlfriend, especially if he claims to love her? Strangers give me nicer compliments than he does.134
Ainslie LayneAinslie Layne