Torcull Kirstina month agoI (27F) have been feeling concerned about my partner (31M) and his lack of ambition. He is a wonderful person—kind, caring, and attentive—and I truly appreciate all the qualities he brings to our relationship. However, I find myself troubled by the fact that he doesn’t have a stable job or a car. He spends a lot of time writing screenplays, but as far as I know, he hasn’t sold any of them yet. I understand that the process of writing, editing, copyrighting, and pitching to studios can take a long time, but it worries me that he seems to be relying solely on this dream of becoming a successful writer. He previously worked at a newspaper but left, claiming he wanted to focus on his writing. However, over the summer, he hardly wrote anything, and now he’s decided to dedicate himself to it more seriously with the new year. While he has sent a few pieces off for copyright, I know it can take months, if not longer, to see any financial return, if at all. I’ve tried to express to him that he could have continued working while pursuing his writing on the side, but he didn’t want to. Another issue is that he doesn’t have a car. He lets his brother use his, and I’ve been without a car since my accident in October. This means I’ve had to drive to him every time we want to spend time together. He says he’s looking for a car, but it feels like he’s not putting in enough effort. It seems like he’s waiting for me to get another car so we can hang out like we used to, which feels unfair. He borrows his grandpa’s van, but it’s old and has a strong smell of gasoline. I can’t help but feel that he’s being a bit lazy. If he truly wanted to achieve his goals, I believe he would make more of an effort to improve his situation. He often tells me that he doesn’t want to be tied down to a job or have someone controlling him. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable or asking for too much; I just want him to be more realistic about life. I’m unsure how to communicate my feelings without making him defensive. I want him to understand my perspective and encourage him to take steps to improve these aspects of his life. How can I approach this conversation in a way that fosters understanding rather than conflict?146
.webp&w=256&q=75)
.webp)
Torcull KirstinTorcull Kirstin