Dwight Indianaa month agoI'm a 19-year-old freshman in college, and there's a girl, a 17-year-old junior in high school, with whom I've been friends for about six years. We went to high school together, and recently we've reconnected. I've enjoyed hanging out with her and texting her, and over time, I've started developing feelings for her. This situation is making me feel really conflicted. Even though we've known each other for a long time and have a strong friendship, there's still a two-year age difference, and she's in a different grade. I really don’t want to come across as "that guy," and I’m worried about how her parents might react if we were to date, especially since she's still in high school. I’m also unsure of how my own parents would feel about the situation. My main question is: does having feelings for her or wanting to pursue a relationship make me seem like a creep? I’d also appreciate any advice on how to handle this going forward. Answer: It's understandable to feel conflicted about this situation, and it’s commendable that you’re being considerate of the dynamics involved. The key to addressing this situation is recognizing the differences in life stages between you and the girl. While you’ve known her for a long time, the gap in age and experience (you being in college and she still in high school) can create some complexities, both socially and emotionally. The age difference itself, especially since she’s 17, doesn’t automatically make your feelings inappropriate, but it’s important to consider factors like her maturity, her perspective, and the context of your relationship. You’ve both grown and changed over the years, but you are at different points in your lives. At 17, she’s still developing emotionally and socially, and the experience gap between you (with you being in college) can make a relationship feel more imbalanced. As for how others might perceive the situation—your concern about how her parents, as well as your own, would react—is valid. Some parents might have reservations about a high school student dating a college student due to the different stages of life, and it’s important to be prepared for that potential reaction. Regarding whether or not pursuing a relationship makes you "a creep," I would say that your self-awareness is already a step in the right direction. It’s essential to be sure that both parties are comfortable with the idea, and that you're approaching her with genuine respect for her boundaries and feelings. If you decide to move forward with these feelings, it might be worth discussing the situation with her and being open to how she feels about it, as well as making sure you both understand the potential challenges, especially when it comes to family dynamics and societal expectations. Lastly, take your time with this situation. Relationships, especially when there are differences in age and life stages, require a lot of careful thought and consideration. Being respectful of her space and her needs, as well as being mindful of how she feels about your evolving friendship, will help guide you both toward making the best decision for the future. 237
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