Danka Risoa month agoI’m a 27-year-old man, and I’m seeking advice about my girlfriend, who is 28. I’ve noticed some concerning patterns in her behavior, especially when she gets annoyed or upset. While I genuinely care for her and appreciate the love and affection she brings into my life, I’m struggling to understand how to handle her emotional outbursts effectively. This is her first serious relationship, while I’ve been in two before. In my past relationships, I learned the importance of managing emotions and the consequences of expressing feelings in a hurtful way. Unfortunately, my girlfriend tends to react very expressively when she’s upset, and her responses can escalate quickly, often without regard for how her words affect me. For example, while we were getting ready to go out with friends, she sat on my lap as I was checking my phone. When she lost her balance and slipped off, she immediately exclaimed, “I hate you,” “I’m breaking up with you,” and “I’m moving out; you can sell all my stuff.” I was taken aback and spent the next couple of hours trying to understand what triggered such an intense reaction. I asked her what I had done to provoke this outburst, and she eventually calmed down, explaining that her feelings stemmed from the slip rather than anything I had done intentionally. This pattern continues to occur with seemingly minor triggers leading to major reactions. Just recently, while I was working from home, I communicated that I had back-to-back meetings. After one meeting, she told me, “Don’t touch me,” and “Don’t come with me,” and when I tried to understand her feelings, she snapped back with, “Leave me the f*ck alone,” and “I’m breaking up with you.” In these moments, she often expresses a desire to leave the situation, which I try to prevent without being forceful, as I believe it’s essential to address the issues at hand rather than letting them fester. When she calms down, she often acts as if nothing happened, but her words can be very hurtful, especially when she makes comments about my late mother, whom she never met. I know she doesn’t mean the harsh things she says, and she has admitted as much after the fact. Despite these challenges, she is an incredible partner who makes me feel loved and cherished. Out of all my relationships, she meets my emotional needs like no other. However, her emotional volatility is concerning, and I’m beginning to worry about the long-term implications of this behavior. I’m reaching out for feedback on how I’m handling these heated situations. Am I managing them well? What can I do to help her express her emotions more maturely? Or is this relationship destined for ongoing conflict? I want to support her while also ensuring that I can maintain my own emotional health in the process.144
.webp&w=256&q=75)
.webp)
Danka RisoDanka Riso