Beata Dominika month agoI (M24) have been dating my girlfriend (F24) for about three years, and overall, we've had a pretty good relationship. We enjoy each other's company, have gone on long vacations together, and generally have a lot of fun. We're both university students, with me in my sixth year finishing my degree and her in her fourth year, studying a similar field. We both prioritize our education, but I've noticed that she seems to work much harder than I do. I tend to adopt a more relaxed approach, thinking, “I probably know enough,” while she is driven by a fear of not being prepared, often stressing over specific details for exams. Recently, I went on a vacation without her, and when I returned, I had a crucial sports match for school—the last one I would play. I asked her three days in advance if she could pick me up from the airport and grab my equipment for the game, as I had no one else to help me. She agreed without hesitation. However, the day before my return, she informed me that she couldn't pick up my equipment because she had too much to do, including a big assignment that was due the day before I got back. The pickup would have taken her only about 50 minutes total. While on vacation, I scrambled to find someone else to help, but I couldn't. In the end, I decided to take an earlier flight to avoid missing the game altogether and told her not to worry about it. When I got back, I played my match, and later I discovered that the lab assignment she was stressing over wasn’t due until the following week. I communicated to her that I was upset about the situation and felt like a low priority in her life if she could easily cancel her commitment to help me. Initially, she reacted defensively, stating that she didn't care about the game since she had injured herself the day after she bailed on me. Our conversation became heated, and I ended up feeling very emotional. Eventually, I pointed out that she had gone out to party for a school event and that she had chosen to rush her lab assignment instead of honoring her commitment to me. After hearing my side, she started to understand my feelings, apologized, and ended up in tears. Even after the apology, I still don’t feel fully resolved. I want to trust that my partner will be there for me, but I have a nagging feeling that I shouldn’t ask her for favors because it seems like an inconvenience. This situation makes me hesitant to rely on her, and I often find myself turning to others instead to avoid disappointment. I know it might seem trivial since it was just a sports game, but it meant a lot to me, and I had expressed my excitement about it beforehand. I worry that if we were to get married, I would prioritize her above all else, but she might not reciprocate that level of commitment. I’m trying to figure out what kind of partner she is likely to be in the long run and why it feels like my needs can be easily overlooked by her.1979
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