Roberta Jodia month agoI’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year now. He works as a gigging musician, and when things are busy in the summer, he can support us both. However, during the off-season, his income drops significantly, and I’ve found myself picking up most of the financial burden. I’ve been working a retail job for a few months now, barely scraping by with the help of my mom. While I’m grateful for the help, my relationship with my mom is complicated, and I don’t want to rely on her anymore. The problem is, my boyfriend hasn’t been able to find any other income streams during this time. He says he can’t get a side job because his license is suspended, and his dad took his car. I’ve suggested he get a job within walking distance, but he refuses, claiming it’s too cold to walk. While he’s talented and passionate about being a musician, he seems to have no interest in finding work outside of that, and I’m the one picking up the slack. He’ll sometimes spend what little money he does have on things like beer, weed, or thrift store finds, while we’re struggling to afford basic living expenses. It feels like he’s not prioritizing our financial stability. I know he’s struggling with his mental health, and I understand because I’ve been in similar situations before. But at some point, I can’t keep carrying both of us. I feel emotionally conflicted because I don’t want to abandon him—he has no family support, and I know he would end up in a difficult position if I left. But at the same time, I don’t want to continue in a codependent relationship where I’m responsible for everything, and he’s not taking the necessary steps to improve things. I really want to be there for him, but I need him to take responsibility for his situation and put in effort to make things better. I can’t keep sacrificing my own well-being for both of us. I just don’t know how to approach this without making him feel attacked, and I don’t want to be stuck in this situation forever.141
Roberta JodiRoberta Jodi