Paget Nylaa month agoI (32F) have been with my boyfriend (33M) for nearly four months, and overall, I find him to be an amazing partner. He meets my needs in ways I’ve shared with him and even goes beyond, and he says I do the same for him. I’m really proud of our relationship and the connection we’ve built so far. From the start, he was upfront about his tendency to be a jealous person, which worried me a little, but I haven’t noticed any red flags that would make me question our relationship. He’s expressed that this is something he’s aware of and is actively working on improving. We’ve also had open conversations about different perspectives and situations, and even if we disagree, we talk things through and find a way to understand each other better. Recently, we were talking about weddings and our experiences with them. He has only attended a few weddings, while I’ve been to many, including several where I was a bridesmaid. During the conversation, he posed a hypothetical situation: if I were asked to be a bridesmaid and walk down the aisle with a groomsman, would I choose to walk down with him, or would I be okay walking with someone else? He shared that it would make him uncomfortable to see me rehearsing and walking down the aisle with another man, which I understood, but I disagreed with his perspective. I told him that at someone else’s wedding, it’s not in my control who I walk with, and it wouldn’t be disrespectful to him. I assured him that if there were any uncomfortable situations (such as walking with an ex or someone who made me uneasy), I would set boundaries and avoid physical contact. Even though I explained my point of view, he seemed disappointed by my answer, and I could tell his feelings stemmed from his insecurity. I don’t think this disagreement is a major issue, but it left me feeling uncertain about how best to support him through his insecurities while maintaining my own boundaries. My main question is: how can I be supportive while he works through his insecurities? I want him to know I’m committed to staying in this relationship while he learns and grows, but I also want to make sure I’m not enabling unhealthy behavior. If his insecurities begin to show signs of controlling habits, I want to address them, but I’m unsure how to approach this. I’m wondering if it might be helpful to encourage couples counseling or if he should consider individual therapy to work through these insecurities. What steps can we take together to better understand each other and build a healthier dynamic? TL;DR: My boyfriend has some insecurities, including jealousy, which can lead to unrealistic expectations. He recognizes this is something he needs to work on. How can I be supportive as he works through his insecurities? Should we seek therapy, or what other steps can we take to improve our relationship and communication?132
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