Eireen Tishaa month agoMy mother-in-law has done so many hurtful things to me over the years (listed below), and after everything she's done, I honestly want nothing to do with her. I also don't want her around my children. My husband, however, still holds on to the hope that we can have a "good relationship" and be "friends." But every time they make up, it feels like I am expected to just forget the past and accept her behavior. I get that she's his mother, and he doesn’t want to cut ties with her. He says, “I know who I’m dealing with — she’s not a good person, she’s not a good mom, and she’s not a good grandma, but she’s all I have.” While I understand that sentiment, I don't know how to move forward when her actions have been so damaging to me and my family. Here are just some of the hurtful things my mother-in-law has done: Called me derogatory names, including "bitch," "skank," and "slut." Said my husband is only with me because of sex. Pressured him to break up with me or move out. Excluded me from family photos. Made cruel remarks about my brother’s suicide. Harassed me after I sent pictures of my daughter instead of videos, only five days post-partum. Accused me of being a narcissist and emotionally immature. Pressured my husband to divorce me. Telling me my children should be taken from me because of my anxiety. Yelled at me in front of my children. Created drama over me taking my daughter to meet my best friend. Complained when my husband made me breakfast on Mother’s Day. Wanted my husband to spend Mother’s Day with her instead of me. Sent gifts to everyone in the family except me. Suggested my husband go to a strip club and sleep with other women. Admitted she hasn’t liked me for a long time and doesn’t want my husband to be with me. Harassed me by texting me when I tried to check my husband out of school at 17. Threatened to report my husband for statutory rape when we first got together. Criticized my parenting decisions, including me wanting to stay in the car with my daughter while she napped. Lied about cooking a meal with pork, knowing I don’t eat pork. Criticized my kids' hair and put products on them I’m uncomfortable with. Admitted to wanting to fight my mom for defending me. At this point, I’m struggling to understand how I’m supposed to reconcile all of this with my desire to protect myself and my children from the toxic influence she brings. My husband defends me, but eventually, they make up, and the cycle repeats. I feel like I’m being pushed to accept unacceptable behavior because it’s his mother, and I don’t know how to handle it anymore. I know he doesn’t want to take away his relationship with her, but I can’t help but feel that I need to set boundaries to keep my family safe from this kind of negativity.137
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