Reverie Erniea month agoI've been dealing with this issue with my husband for a while now, and it's starting to drive me crazy. I just gave birth to our second baby on December 17th, and it was a very traumatic experience. I felt pain during my C-section, and I had severe bleeding after surgery. It’s been mentally and physically exhausting, and I’m struggling to cope with it all. My second baby wasn’t planned, and I was in a really good place before I got pregnant. I had a great job, was on a weight loss journey, and had never felt healthier or happier in my body. Since giving birth, I’ve already lost about 15 pounds, but I still need to lose another 20-30 pounds to feel happy with my body again. My husband, however, has been incredibly harsh. He tells me that I don’t look good, that he wishes I would lose weight, wear makeup, and get fake nails. I’ve always made an effort to look nice — I do my hair, and I try to keep myself put together. But this criticism really hurts. He has gained a lot of weight himself, drinks more than he should, smokes weed all day every day, and doesn’t take care of his health either. I’m not trying to criticize him, but it feels unfair that he sets these high standards for me when he doesn’t take care of himself. On top of this, he makes me feel like I’m constantly bothering him. He often tells me that life with kids and a wife isn’t what he wants, that he feels like a slave. When he has an attitude, I have no idea what the problem is, and when I ask, he tells me to leave him alone. If I ask how I can help, he just tells me to look better to his standards. I can’t bring up my own concerns without being dismissed — he’ll just tell me I’m crying again and that it’s annoying. Yet when he feels sick or has a panic attack, he expects me to be his support system, telling me that he feels safer with me. I’m left feeling completely lost, like one minute I’m his safe haven, and the next, I’m the burden, the mistake, and the problem from his past. I feel like I’m losing my mind. His behavior is so confusing, and I don’t know how to navigate it anymore. 134
Reverie ErnieReverie Ernie