Theresa Sheelagha month agoMy husband (45M) and I (38F) have been married for two years, and overall, our relationship has been great. We’ve had a few minor disagreements (such as boundary issues and miscommunications during stressful moments), but we communicate well and work through things. We’re both happy, and our relationship has been solid. At a recent work dinner, we were asked how long we’ve known each other, and when I mentioned it’s been around 14 or 15 years, my husband brought up a time when we were briefly apart early in our relationship. To give context: after dating for six months, we broke up for about six months. During that time, I found out he was seeing other people, including a coworker, despite us agreeing to exclusivity. The breakup was messy, as I had also just lost my last living parent in a car accident and had to care for my younger siblings. So, when he mentioned our breakup during the dinner, I decided to focus on the personal reasons I went through at that time (my mother’s death) rather than discuss his infidelity. His colleague, naturally, asked more questions, but I didn’t want to focus on his actions, so I answered in a way that kept the conversation respectful. However, my husband then continued to mention that I had also dated someone else during that period, which is true. After our breakup, I briefly dated an old friend, but it was not a healthy situation, and I learned a lot from that experience. Now, I’m wondering why he felt the need to bring this up at all, especially when I had moved past it. Our relationship has been great since then, and I’ve forgiven what happened. I don’t understand why he felt the need to push the issue, especially in front of his colleagues. I know we’ve both grown and worked on our relationship, but I’m confused by his behavior. Why did he keep bringing up my past when we had both moved on from it? Any thoughts?135
Theresa SheelaghTheresa Sheelagh