Nick Billiea month agoAbout a year and a half ago, I (26M) asked out a girl (25F), and at the time, she told me she was "kind of" seeing someone but that it wasn’t very serious. She also mentioned that she didn’t feel comfortable pursuing two relationships at once. I respected her decision, but since then, I haven’t heard anything else about the other guy, and it’s been over a year. Recently, we were carpooling together on a road trip, and after the rest of the group left, we had 3 hours alone in the car. But even with all that time, I couldn’t figure out a good way to ask her about it. I’m just looking for some closure at this point, whether she’s still seeing him or not. I’ve read some advice suggesting that if she were single and interested, she would have made a move by now. However, we both come from conservative backgrounds, so I wonder if she might not feel comfortable taking the first step. Either way, I’d like to know for sure, and I’m just not sure how to ask her without feeling awkward. TL;DR: I asked a girl out about a year and a half ago, and she told me she was "kind of" seeing someone. I haven’t heard anything else about it since, and I’d like to know if she’s still with him, but I’m not sure how to ask. Advice and response: Be direct but respectful: It seems like you’ve been waiting for an opportunity to ask her about her current relationship status, and while it’s understandable that you want closure, it’s important to approach it in a way that respects her boundaries. The key here is to be straightforward and non-pressuring. You can say something like, “Hey, I was just wondering—are you still seeing the person you were kind of seeing when we first talked? I’ve been thinking about it, and I just want to know where things stand.” This way, it’s clear that you’re just seeking clarity without putting any pressure on her to respond a certain way. Timing matters: While the road trip was a great opportunity to have one-on-one time with her, it's important to ask these types of questions when both of you are comfortable and in the right headspace. You could choose a more relaxed moment to bring it up, when there’s less pressure and you’re not on the spot. Perhaps during a casual conversation when it feels natural, rather than waiting for an awkward moment. Recognize her comfort level: Since both of you come from a more conservative background, it’s possible she might not feel comfortable initiating a conversation about her relationship status or making the first move. That’s why it’s especially important that you’re respectful in how you ask and ensure that it’s not framed as something she has to answer right away. Keep the tone light and understanding. Don’t overthink her silence: If she hasn’t mentioned anything else about the other guy, it could just mean she’s focused on her current situation, or it might not have crossed her mind that you’re still wondering. People can be slow to share personal details, especially when they’re uncertain about what the other person is interested in. Your question could just be a simple way of opening up that conversation without it feeling awkward or forced. Prepare for any answer: It’s important to be mentally prepared for any response. Whether she’s still with the guy or has moved on, respect her answer and take it as a form of closure. This will help you move forward, whether that means letting go or finding new opportunities to explore together. What you can do next: Choose a moment when the conversation feels natural and bring up your curiosity gently. Ask her directly but in a casual way, showing respect for her space and boundaries. Be prepared for any answer, and use it as an opportunity for closure or to move forward accordingly. Remember, clarity and honesty are key to understanding where both of you stand. No matter what the outcome, asking will help you stop wondering and move forward with a clear mind. 135
Nick BillieNick Billie