Armando Basilioa month agoI’m a 20-something pansexual girl who has been navigating a complicated relationship with my boyfriend, who I met about five months ago in college. We bonded over our shared interests in book and music clubs, and after a month, he developed feelings for me. At first, I didn’t acknowledge the hints he was dropping, but as time went on, I found myself developing a crush on him as well. However, there were some red flags. Initially, he displayed some homophobic attitudes and had a bit of a religious background, which made me hesitant to get involved. When I finally felt safe enough to share my identity as pansexual and my atheism, he responded by saying he didn’t care and that he loved me. He expressed a desire for us to be together, but I wanted to take my time to think it over. After a few days of reflection, I accidentally revealed that I had a crush on him, and he took that as confirmation that we were dating. I felt guilty for not being clear, but as I considered our future, I realized that we might not be compatible. I noticed some toxic behaviors, like him telling me not to hug my gay male friends and claiming he couldn’t live without me. Eventually, I decided to break things off, explaining that we wouldn’t work out despite my feelings for him. He became very emotional, pleading with me not to leave and promising to work on accepting my views, asking me to help teach him how to do so. Now, I’m at a crossroads. I’ve already broken up with him twice, and I’m questioning whether I should stay in this relationship. I don’t want to take on the responsibility of teaching an adult man how to treat me properly, especially when he still shows signs of homophobia. Should I leave him for good, or is it worth waiting to see if he can change?134
Armando BasilioArmando Basilio