Clarette Dalea month agoI (26F) have been with my boyfriend (28M) for over 3 years, and we were good friends before we started dating. The relationship has had its ups and downs, and now, after some time, I’m questioning if we’re a good fit. The past year and a half, I wasn’t working or doing much, and my boyfriend’s job was only 10 minutes from my place, but we would see each other only about once every three weeks for just a few hours. Even though I knew he was working hard and driving a lot, I felt like he wasn’t making much of an effort to see me, even for a short coffee. This was especially hard since I had a lot of free time and was feeling lonely. I used to put in the effort to see him, even when I was tired from long shifts in healthcare, but now it feels like he’s not giving that same effort back. I’ve also noticed that when we go out, he never pays for me, and when we’re in the same car, I always do the driving. I’m independent, but it would be nice to feel valued in little ways. He tells me he cares and that the relationship is important to him, but I don’t always feel it. Recently, I had to make a tough career decision that stressed me out for a month, and he wasn’t there for me during that time. He didn’t even realize how serious the situation was until the day before I made my decision. Even after having conversations about how I feel, he doesn’t seem to take them seriously, and nothing changes. Now, I’ve started a new job 3 hours away, and I’ve been struggling with housing and adjusting to everything. While my coworkers, who were strangers two weeks ago, have been extremely helpful, my boyfriend has only checked in with me at night. I expressed to him that I needed more support—someone familiar to be there for me—but he didn’t offer to help. I feel like he’s not there for me when I need him most, and I’m starting to question if this is how a relationship is supposed to be. I’m starting to pull back because I feel like I’m the only one putting in effort. I love him and want to be with him, but I’m unsure if this one-sided dynamic is sustainable.1895
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Clarette DaleClarette Dale