Holly Thaddeusa month agoI'm (28F) in a relationship with my boyfriend (29M) for about a year and a half, and I've been trying to set boundaries around food, but it's been challenging. When we first started dating, I made it clear that I didn't like sharing my food. I would always prepare more than enough to share, but he would insist on taking bites from my plate or drinking from my drink. He even wanted us to eat from the same bowl and pass the utensils back and forth. Although I communicated that this made me uncomfortable, he would react by calling me selfish or weird, and would pout or try to pressure me into sharing. Over time, I gave in, and now I do share food more willingly, even offering bites of what I'm eating. I realize this isn’t ideal because I let him override my boundaries, but the situation has somewhat improved in that we no longer share dishes like we used to. However, there are still moments when I don’t want to share, and that's when I realize that my boyfriend doesn’t accept when I say "no" to sharing food. Even though I may not be hungry, he insists on having a bite of what I'm eating or drinking. I end up secretly eating sometimes just to avoid confrontation, which makes me feel uncomfortable. If he sees that I ate something without mentioning it, he will get upset. It makes me feel like I can't freely enjoy food without his reaction. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable or selfish, but I do wish he would respect when I want to enjoy something on my own. I’m wondering if this situation reflects a larger issue in our relationship. How can I have a productive conversation with my boyfriend about my boundaries in a way that he will listen and understand? I’ve been reflecting on my ability to set boundaries overall, and it makes me wonder if we have an unhealthy dynamic. TL;DR: I'm struggling with setting boundaries around food in my relationship, and I’m worried it might indicate a deeper issue in our dynamic. I’d appreciate advice on how to communicate my feelings and enforce these boundaries effectively.159
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